One of my biggest undisclosed goals this year is to be more assertive.
I’m sure being emotionally scarred from a childhood of pure authoritative abuse made me become this timid person who lets people walk all over me.
I do everything for everyone. I have a problem saying now. I also have a problem speaking exactly what’s on my mind. If someone says something hurtful to me, I’ve always just let it go. When people say things I don’t particular like or feel offense over, I bite my tongue.
I’ve done this since I learned to speak. My dad would scream at me saying I will never go anywhere in life being a sensitive timid girl who never spoke. It’s sucks that HE is probably the sole reason I am this way.
But I think it’s time to stop blaming him. I am STILL this way after not speaking to him for years. I’m letting people get away with things, they wouldn’t allow me to get away with. I’m tired of being guilt tripped. I’m tired of keeping my mouth shut just to think about what I should’ve said at night.
This year, I will stand up FOR me.
It’s 2020, I may not have a lot of experience talking to people this year since we’re all trapped inside, but I guess that will make my change a little easier. Step by step.
My mind won’t stay quiet anymore.