Oddball

Now sometimes you could think, why if someone else’s life sucks, I can’t share the happiness of mine?

I may be an oddball. I truly think too deeply about this stuff. Whenever I post something, I think about these things. Well, I have a new car but someone might have just wrecked theirs. Someone may be struggling to save up.

And you could also be the hope for those people. Oh she got a new car, I can too! But those people may also be bitter towards your happiness. For the most part, I feel happiness when I see someone accomplish something, when I see people moving up! I see people my age purchasing beautiful homes and I think, hey if they can, I can too! Not right now and maybe not within the next 5 years. But I can too.

Then I see people saying things that can be a happy accomplishment but has a condescending tone. Almost somewhat throwing shade that they have something others don’t. It’s different to say “we have bought our first new home!” And saying “I am so happy that we bought our new home, we thought we’d be stuck living with our parents at 30 and not making anything out of ourselves! Haha.”

Make your accomplishments and happiness about YOU! You are happy because you have something!!! But NOT because other people don’t have it!! NOT because you got it before anyone else! You don’t want them to be happy for you at that point, you want them to be jealous of you and you’re overcompensating because of your insecurities.

I’ve BEEN IN THIS MINDSET. Whenever we were young and struggling in high school, that’s how my dad raised me. Show them I’m happy and better than them by what I have and what they don’t.

It took me a few years of high school that it was a silly game people of all over play. It just makes them feel good. But it made me feel bad. I knew who I learned this trait from, and I saw what type of person they were and I decided hey, this isn’t me. I am happy and I know it. I am blessed and I know it. I don’t need to tell the world how much better I am if I am truly happy. I’ll just be too busy actually enjoying my life than attempting to make people feel like their lives aren’t equal to mine.

I believe we’re not all good. As hard as I try to be a good person, I’ve caught myself over the past 10 years having traits that I would consider in others toxic. Would I want someone to say these things to me? What if I was in their shoes and I saw what I said through their eyes?

The world is a much better place when we don’t only think of our feelings but others.

K✨

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