One thing I wish I can shout from the rooftops when you want to become a parent is you don’t just need to meet your child’s physical needs.
While it’s a good start, of course. A child needs food, clothes, a place to live. Being financially responsible is obviously a huge step in parenthood. You don’t have to be rich but you should know how to budget.
But THAT’S NOT ALL. Just because you meet those needs, doesn’t mean you’ve done enough. Children have emotional needs to be met. Mental needs, you have to provide this for years.
I hate how having a child for some just means, “hey, we have a place to live and food, that’s good enough.” That’s absolutely not enough. I believe if our parents thought a little more of us being actual humans maybe they would’ve have given us what we actually need.
You need to be emotionally stable for a child. I can’t say I was 100% because I was only 20. I know I still had some maturing to do but we’ve had a good start. I was aware of the several things that went wrong with my upbringing and I’m sure as hell I don’t want that for my children.
I was always sensitive, I always cried too much, I was an emotional child. My parents didn’t know how to deal. I was constantly shouted at, belittled and made feel less because I was more sensitive than my younger sister. We were always compared. I don’t speak up loud enough. I’ll never get what I want out of life because I am shy and because I cry. I am stupid. I’m useless. I don’t have a good future for me.
Why have children? You can’t mold them all to be the exact same carbon copy. I remember bringing home good grades, then they’d tell her why couldn’t she be more like me?
Even then, as a child, I felt like that was wrong. We weren’t the same. We are 2 different people with different needs.
Your children need more than just food and a home. If you want a child, be prepared to handle all kinds of children. You don’t know what you’re going to get. No two children will ever be the same. You may have an emotionally difficult child, you may have a laidback child. And if you’re choosing to bring them into the world, then please prepare yourself to be the best version of you possible. The patient one. The understanding one. The caring, loving parent.
You’re raising the future.